Ted Lilly, WTF. How is it possible that during your last start, you had a no-hitter through the 8th – and then, today, you give up four runs during the first inning?! The Cubs lost 12-0. At home.

Welcome to Wrigley Field, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Sing along, all:

Sweet.

Random thoughts:

- Ryan Dempster should, at this point, have three in the win column, but he’s only 1-0 because the offense isn’t coming through to back him up. We all know how I love Demp and how he’s been my favorite Cub since the departure of Mark Prior, so I won’t go on.

- Zambrano’s demotion to the bullpen this week has got the press and the fans buzzing, and not in a good way. Everybody seems to be picking on the fact that Gorzelanny is still in the starting rotation. All I’ll say is, you won’t hear me crying. It’s bad enough that I have the Elton John apologists coming here to complain in the comments; I don’t need the Z sympathizers griping here, too.

- Soriano. WTF. Pretty sure we’ll still be booing him mid-season.

Maybe I won’t blog about the Cubs anymore. It hurts too much. :oP

If you’d like to leave your thoughts, please remember that I’m not going to your blog and ragging you about your opinions. Please also consider that you won’t change my mind about anything I’ve said here by being rude. (OK, you won’t change my mind, period, but a little politeness goes a long way.)

Are you excited? Can you feel the injuries already? Woo hoo!

The idea of a bunch of old, retired jocks doing a spoof of what most would hardly consider a masterpiece in the first place probably makes you want to throw up a little – and I can hardly blame you there. But I, for one, am super excited. And if you know me at all, you know I’m not kidding. I bought the commemorative DVD of the original Super Bowl Shuffle, complete with outtakes. I, who have had the gall to insult Sir Elton John (yeah, I’m never letting that one go), have the Super Bowl Shuffle on my iPhone. I teach it to children when left alone with them. I know where this puts me on The Great Social Scale of Life, but I don’t care: I readily admit, I love the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Sure, I’ll miss Sweetness being in the remake, but for obvious technical reasons, Walter Payton couldn’t be there. Too bad they couldn’t get Gary Fencik in there, too:

Buddy’s guys cover it down to the bone,
That’s why they call us the 46 Zone.
Come on, everybody, let’s scream and yell,
We’re gonna do the Shuffle,
Then ring your bell.

This is gonna be awesome. Mark my words: Steve Fuller will steal the show. This will particularly be the case if it’s Vikings-Jets. ;o)

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Smooches,
Baseball

by Paul Sullivan

Former Cubs pitcher Greg Maddux has rejoined the organization as an assistant to general manager Jim Hendry.

The Cubs said he will assist the coaching staffs in spring training, help develop minor leaguers during the season and assist Hendry in evaluating talent.

“We are thrilled to have Greg back with the Chicago Cubs,” Hendry said in a statement. “He has such a vast knowledge of all phases of the game and the ultimate respect of everyone from the players to the front office. The addition of Greg Maddux makes us a better organization.”

Maddux retired after the 2008 season and never gave a hint that he wanted to return to baseball in a management capacity. He had spoken in the past of possibly coaching players, not helping run a team.

“I’m looking forward to working my way back into the game and am happy that the Cubs have given me the opportunity to do that,” Maddux said in a statement. “I started my career with the Cubs and Chicago has always been the best place in the league to play.  I’m eager to do whatever I can to help the organization and am looking forward to getting started at spring training.”

Best news ever for a Monday!!!

Some fans have chosen to dwell on the fact that although the ‘Cats have appeared in seven bowl games in the past 15 years, it has been 61 years since their last – and only – bowl win. But come on. This team hails from the same metropolitan area whence a certain baseball team that shall not be named has not been to the World Series since, as Steve Goodman so aptly put it, “the year we dropped the bomb on Japan.” And let’s not even go there about how many years it’s been since they won the damned thing – even Ron Santo wasn’t alive back then. I know, that’s an excessively pathetic analogy, but the point is, it could be worse. Much worse.

I’m sorry, were we talking about football? So, umm . . . fly your “N” flags high and wear that purple proudly, NU faithful. It’ll happen, and with a coach like Fitz, you know it’ll happen soon!

GO ‘CATS!