Of course, even this drawer was slightly overstuffed, so when I inserted the key and tugged on the handle, #25 provided some resistance. Not one to give up, I reached my right hand into the drawer from the top and pulled.

OUCH.

The blood was flowing to the surface of my right index finger as I snatched it out of the drawer. I looked in to find the culprit: a very sharp, slightly hook-shaped curve that seemed to serve no function but was, nonetheless, melded to the rest of the lock mechanism. It was slightly rusted . . . but I wasn’t too concerned, as I was fairly certain that all my shots were up to date. So I grabbed the mail, dropped the Drawer #25 key into the drawer before sliding it back shut and headed upstairs before I bled all over the department’s mail (including my own, thank you very much). While I sorted through the mail, I nonchalantly called the doctor’s office to confirm the date of my last tetanus booster.

July 2000. And they’re only good for about 10 years.

Greeeeaaaat.

I consulted the family “doctors” (a.k.a. my husband and my mother, who never cease to have opinions about these things), who naturally recommended aggressive treatment. Doubting their ability to remain objective in the face of a 1-cm wide, 3mm-deep gash on my fingertip, I consulted Wikipedia. (Let’s be honest here: I use Wikipedia for everything.) The incubation period for tetanus, per The Source of All Sources, can be eight days to several months.

Holy moly.

So I could be fine today . . . and tomorrow . . . and even next week . . . and then like, six weeks from now, when I’m at Wrigley Field cussing out Zambrano, my jaw could lock up? No thanks.

So that was that. I called the doctor’s office back and told them I would be by in a couple of hours to get a tetanus booster.

My doctor’s office is just two miles from my office. But of course, thanks to the sheer genius of the City & County of Honolulu’s transportation people, I spent over an hour on the road, round trip. All for a tiny cut on my finger. All because the postal carrier overstuffed the freaking mail drawer. All because – what the hell was a sharp metal piece DOING in that drawer anyway.

But at least I can rest assured that, unless the vaccine is defective, my jaw won’t lock up on me while I play armchair manager at the Cubs games next month.

Let me emphasize this: My family and I are fine. We live several miles from the nearest shore line. We also hoard Purell with Aloe (the green one), toilet paper (we buy it at Costco – don’t judge) and bottled water (also, hallelujah, Costco); thus, we are always prepared for a hurricane, tsunami or other natural disaster.

The biggest inconvenience at this point is that I had been hoping to catch up on some sleep last night. Of course, once we started getting tsunami advisories (around 9/9:30), that all went down the drain, and I was up ’til past 3:30 this morning. Oh, yeah, and State Civil Defense scheduled tsunami warning sirens to sound at 6, and they’ve been wailing every once in a while ever since. I live in a valley, so the siren is super loud. I feel like one of the castaways on “LOST” when the island time-traveled. (Thanks, Maura, for the reminder to check for nosebleeds.)

If Hawaiian Electric doesn’t totally collapse under all the stress, I’ll post an update after this all passes. Meanwhile, thanks for all the concern via Facebook, e-mail, text, etc. Please forgive me if I don’t return calls, as our phone system is totally overloaded right now. See y’all on the other side!

UPDATE @ 4:23 p.m.: It’s over. The tsunami warning has been canceled. Thanks again to everyone for their ongoing concern and support. Watching the water recede and replenish Hilo Bay again and again so quickly on TV was a little scary, but fortunately, because we had sufficient time to evacuate coastal areas and get total morons out of the water, it seems like everyone is safe. Experts noticed definite changes in water levels and other oceanic characteristics, but so far, there are no reports of damage. We got lucky as far as that’s concerned – no one could’ve predicted how that would go.

Now. If anyone can figure out how I get back my Saturday . . . ;o)